16 – A lot has been going on [Let’s Be Honest]

 Again, I haven’t written in a while and I was going to apologise for it, but instead I’m just going to tell you that a lot has been going on lately. 

     No, it’s not the Final Year at University started and I have so much other things happening whilst trying to start writing my thesis excuse – which to be fair can be applicable to my life because I haven’t started writing my thesis *YAY*. Muddled with that is a sense of hopelessness I’ve been feeling for a very long while: it feels as though nothing great is happening in my life; that everything (including myself) is falling apart; that I’m not able to finish and successfully complete my studies; that the road is so bleak that I’m almost certain I’m going to be doing something I don’t like – and the list goes on. 

     I think the most frustrating part about all of this is not that I feel this way, even though it’s not a wonderful experience feeling like this. The most difficult part of it all underneath this dirt pile of emotions is the knowledge that life isn’t this way: I know that everything will fall in to place; I am going to recover from heartbreak and will love myself because I am worthy of such things. But it’s like I’m constantly wearing glasses with small and black lenses: seeing things through a negative and narrow perspective: and it’s taking a toll on my mental health, my passions and hobbies, and also my relationship with people and with God. 

     At this point of the blog, I usually write about what I can do in such situations, but instead I am going to share some photos I found myself, and others which friends sent me to help me feel better. And after compiling them, I should prioritise reading them more often and taking them seriously.

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     I don’t know what is going to happen in a year’s time, but I know that life isn’t all that bad: it’s just taking time to forgive myself, believe in myself and adjust to a better pair of glasses.

     Here’s to myself getting through these circumstances, and here’s to you getting through life: whoever you are, whatever you’re going through! I hope you can find the above pictures helpful.

     And it’s back to reality to start writing my thesis. Happy reading.

Mer. xx


 

 

 

 

 

 

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