18 – Time to Live Now

I am writing this after reading the sad news that my childhood ballet teacher has passed away.

I feel as though I’ve gotten used to this kind of situation over the past year: the non-intentional forgetfulness of those who positively influenced you once upon a time – until you find out that those same individuals are now gone forever. 

And questions emerge: Why did this occur? Why that individual? What to do now?

Although hearing the news of anyone’s passing isn’t pleasant, it is certainly eye opening for me: because it’s such news that makes me rethink how I live. Because here I am stressing about how I am going to catch up with the seemingly endless amount of university work; here I am worrying about my future and what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life [assuming that it exists and that I will get there someday]; giving an eyelash for people who couldn’t give a sh*t about me, and drowning myself in self pity and negativity and pressure to do the best I can – together with life’s inevitable ups and downs. But for now, I am still here on this earth – and it’s in this moment I consider myself lucky to be breathing, no matter what’s going on in my life. But what to do? 

I will try my best to work hard but still find time to laugh through the mental breakdowns with my friends because those are the moments I will cherish. I will randomly dance (and sing) to Single Ladies because it’s fun to do so. I will keep on making bad and stupid puns because they relieve stress. I will try to slow down and remind myself that life is beautiful despite everything which may appear to be wrong. I will remind myself that I deserve to be happy no matter how many times I commit a wrong doing. I will try to show appreciation to anyone I encounter, the people closest to me, even though at times it’s very hard to do so. But I will still try, because there’s nothing to lose in doing so. 

I might not have my life figured out, and I don’t know when my time to die will come. Yet I am here: I am breathing, am alive. I am grateful!

Will end this post quoting this – not sure the exact source, but it’s worth a read:

This life will go by fast.

Don’t fight with people, don’t criticise your body so much, don’t complain so much.

Don’t lose sleep over your bills. Look for the person that makes you happy. If you make a mistake, let it go and keep seeking your happiness.

Never stop being a good parent. Don’t worry so much about buying luxuries and comforts for your home, and don’t kill yourself trying to leave an inheritance for your family. Those benefits should be earned by each person, so don’t dedicate yourself to accumulating money.

Enjoy, travel, enjoy your journeys, see new places, give yourself the pleasures you deserve. Allow dogs to get closer. Don’t put away the fine glassware. Utilise the new dinnerware; don’t save your favourite perfume, use it to go out with yourself; wear out your favourite sport shoes; repeat your favourite clothes.

So what? That’s not bad. Why not now? Why not pray now instead of waiting until before you sleep? Why not call now? Why not forgive now? We wait so long for Christmas; for Friday; for Reunions; for another year; for when I have money; for love to come; when everything is perfect…look…

Everything perfect doesn’t exist. Human beings can’t accomplish this because it simply was not intended to be completed here. Here is an opportunity to learn.

So take this challenge that is life and do it now… love more, forgive more, embrace more, love more intensely and leave the rest in God’s hands. 

Here’s to us in trying to live life to the best of our abilities. Happy Reading xx


 

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