this might seem odd and cheesy to write a post to yourself on your own blog, but i felt that you needed this: with university work piling up as your motivation to do such work is decreasing, together with yourself allowing a billion doubts racing through the neurons of your brain about probably every single aspect in your life – about what was and what might be – and then becoming obsessed as to whether such thoughts are rational or irrational, so you end up overthinking about such a conflict which might not be real after all – and the vicious cycle continues even after your brain declines in trying to understand what you really want after all and you give up trying to figure out what is going on.
it’s ironic, because ’tis the season to be jolly: yet you’re ending up worrying about futile things which you cannot do much about right now, which in turn are making you feel overwhelmed to the point that you end up stuck – which makes feel you grumpy and pessimistic about everything which appears to be wrong in your life! yes, i know it becomes tiring to get through such obstacles during the day because they make you feel overwhelmed, but then again who doesn’t have such obstacles? EVERYONE: from the people you’re closest to, to those who might have drifted apart from you, are struggling with something – and although that thing might be different to yours, it doesn’t make their struggling any less valid. you’re right, you might be alone going through such a situation, but you’re definitely not alone trying to get through life.
all i ask you to do is to let it be: to try not to over-analyse or believe every single thought passing through your mind but instead focusing on doing what’s most important for YOU right now. do the things which you know you love and which may turn your negative vibes into positive ones. prioritise your work on your assignments and study hard instead of wasting time feeding your doubts (i know you’ll regret leaving everything to the last minute). be grateful for every opportunity you have coming your way. Be thankful for every person who has stuck by you in your lowest, when you nag and whine about life. don’t let any negative and petty thing overshadow the small BUT good things you have in your life. acknowledge the tiny successes you have, but don’t boast about them. acknowledge the mistakes you do, but don’t dwell on them so much to the point that you remain stuck and end up doing nothing about them. acknowledge every feeling you might feel when a situation crops up, but don’t let those emotions make you bitter. finally, pray as much as you can – God will get you through this, i know deep down that he’s got something great for you (remember Psalm 46:10)!
despite the life fails you do, you are a beautiful and a strong girl Mer – and i know you can get through this all 🙂 now stop procrastinating and go do your assignments!
hang in there – you got this 🙂